Ad Magnitudinem Destinatus


I am not an egotistical person in the slightest, if you’ve read past blogs of mine you’ll know that my form of humour lies in self-depreciation and that a large portion of my life was dedicated solely to crippling insecurities. I’m not going to re-hash them, I’m just making my point. So when I say I am ‘Destined For Greatness’, I don’t mean I think I’m the bee’s knees and that everything should just fall in my lap, I mean that I know I am capable of achieving monumental fucking things.

I have felt it in my heart and soul for my entire existence. I am not meant to have a hum-drum, ‘normal’ life because I am not hum-drum and normal! It has taken me almost 33 years to realise that the reason I have spent so many of my years suffering and in turmoil is because I was trying to conform. I was trying to fit in – and I’m not meant to fit in, so of course I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t being myself.

The ‘habits of your lifetime’ are formed between the ages of 0 – 4. During this time period your brain gathers all the information it needs to shape your beliefs and your values. I’ll tell you what, I’m really glad that I’m a Daddy’s Girl, as 100% of my core strengths formed at this age came from him. Furthermore, I’m really glad I met Jane, my amazing mom at the tender age of 8, and that together – they taught me how to be a great person.

I have a birth mother, although she is far from worthy of the name, and I won’t spend more time on her than I need to, but she was useless. Her main ‘gift’ to me? Bulimia. I grew up listening to her wretch into the bathroom after every meal, and so that became my ‘norm’.

My parents split when I was 8 and I lasted a meagre 6 months in the house alone with that woman before making the decision (yes – at 8 years old) to get the fuck away from her. We had about 15 years of a turbulent relationship and one of the tactics she used to ‘bond’ with me during that time was to tell me how alike we were because we both made ourselves sick, and how good it was to be able to eat whatever you want and just throw it all back up again. This is not a drill – this is the enormity of her complete ineptitude to be not just a mother, but a decent human being.

In 2008 I had a phone call with her that cemented me on the path that I have since followed – staying true to myself, and using my self-awareness to know what it good for me, and what is not.

I told her to fuck off, and I meant it. I haven’t spoken to her since.

This isn’t my X Factor sob story, no-one here is crying anymore. I’m over it. My point is the negative habits and beliefs that she instilled in me outweighed all the great things by a million to one – because she made me believe I wasn’t worthy. That I wasn’t destined for the mediocre, never mind greatness! She made me believe I wasn’t enough, and because that became my core belief – I applied it to everything. I was an overachiever at school, leading to my descent into illness over GCSE stress. I overcompensated in all of my relationships and ran them into the ground before they even had a chance to get started, and when I inevitably went off the rails, I even managed to screw that up.

I believed I wasn’t good enough – and the contrast between that and the belief in my gut that I was capable of amazing things sent me a little bit mad!

With the help of my amazing parents and lots of therapy, I was able to re-wire my brain and become the person I am today.

My true self.

It’s no mean feat. It’s the hardest thing I have ever had to do – but having control over your mind, understanding how it works and why it works in that way is the most powerful lesson I have ever learned. My Mom (acquired) has a catchphrase – she says ‘Knowledge is Power’. Can you understand now how she was incremental in me becoming who I am today?

Enter the Law of Attraction. I have spoken a lot about this, and I don’t want to preach – but this made me level up when it came to understanding the power of my mind, and it’s how I’ve lived for the past 5 years. I am aligned, I am in a great place in my life and things are appearing before my eyes.

I now KNOW that I am enough – not for the guys that come and go, the bosses that treated me like a Stepford Wife or the people whose social media feeds I fleetingly appear on… I am enough for myself, and with that realisation, the notion that I am, indeed ‘Destined For Greatness’ has grown into something that I know in my heart to be the truth.

So where do I go from here?

A few months ago, my friend (and boss) Jenni and I were talking about a conference down in London that had Marketing Guru Gary Vaynerchuk as one of its speakers (I’ll give you a second to Google him). After that conversation, I got a picture of the exhibition advert (Expert Empires) and I stuck it on my vision board, and a few weeks later Jenni told me she had booked herself a ticket. I was chuffed because I thought it was a sign that one of us was supposed to be there. Now normally, when something on my board appears, I take it off, but with this I couldn’t. I knew that it was supposed to be me that was going. I didn’t know how or why, I just knew I had to be there.

The day before the exhibition I got an email from Jenni, asking me to go in her place because something had come up. My jaw hit my desk and the first words I typed back were “SHUT UP!“ I leapt into action – changing my name on the ticket, sorting out care for Willow & Wednesday, looking up train times, and the whole time my hands were shaking and my heart was beating hard in my chest. I was excited, but my excitement was overshadowed by the realisation that this was a MONUMENTAL thing that I had brought to myself. I had made this happen in a matter of weeks. I was SUPPOSED to be there and something significant was about to happen.

Hurried arrangements were made, and at 5.30am the next morning I found myself at New St Station waiting for the train that would take me to the event that has made me level up once more. Not just to the next step – but up the fucking precipice of my life’s path!

Expert Empires – two days out of my life that have changed it forever. For real. I sat and listened to some of the world’s most influential people speak about how they achieved their greatness, all hugely successful, all of them millionaires and all of them with one singular message: “Stay true to yourself.” Then one guy – Ryan Pinnick came on the stage.

I had seen him across the room the day before, and instantly dismissed him as a ‘Topknot Twat’ (you know the type), and when he came on stage I said to the girl next to me “like I’m going to be able to take anything this guy says seriously”.

I was wrong. I was fundamentally and catastrophically W R O N G! This guy spoke to my soul. He explained life in the way I have been looking for these past few months. He took The Law of Attraction as I know it and he made it look like child’s play! This shit was NEXT LEVEL. He kept asking how far down the rabbit hole we wanted him to take us. There was only one logical response: “all the way!” I’ve been waiting for the nudge to let me know that it’s time to take that leap, and this was it. He got it. He got ME.

Things happen for a fucking reason! The Universe gives you the things you need to keep you on your path. Being asked to go to Expert Empires at the last minute was no accident! I have found answers to how further my career in Digital Marketing, I have learned about business and money, and I have sat and understood things that I didn’t think my brain was capable of. ‘Inspired’ is not even the tip of the iceberg to how I felt over those two days – but being introduced to the idea of unleashing my ‘Super Genius’ during Ryan’s talk had a more profound effect on me than anything that has ever happened.

Now, I realise that I sound like a nutter to most. Or like I’ve been brainwashed by some hippie cult – but when you see things happening before your eyes that cannot be dismissed as coincidence – it’s kind of hard to argue.  I have attracted some really important people into my life this past year, three of which had been estranged for years. Is it an accident that they have come back to me now I am living as my true self? Is it a coincidence?

There are no accidents. There are no coincidences.

As I type this I actually have goose bumps and chills – because I feel the power and enormity of it all. I am in the zone. I am making things happen and I feel like I am unstoppable. Hearing all those speakers echo my thoughts, and finding more and more people who are bound to The Universe as I am only cements the reality of it all to me. These people are at the very top of their game – and they all made it happen because they stayed authentic and true to themselves, they knew their vision and they hustled like motherfuckers on their way up.

These people have no time for the mediocre. They all made a point of surrounding themselves with positive, like-minded people. People who had vision, ambition and fire in their bellies. So I’m going to join them – and I’m taking my inner circle with me, because they are all on their way there too.

I know my genius lies in my creativity and my writing. It lies in reaching out to people and speaking as a common voice and in staying true to myself. I have found my focus, and now I know where I am headed I have no time for anything that is going to defer me on the way there. No time for doubts, or anyone that makes me feel like I am not enough. No time for procrastination and bullshit. No time for anything but the end goal, and my inner circle.

I am not destined for normal or hum drum. I am not destined to simply exist day-to-day until I land in a grave. I am not destined for a life that was mapped out for me by others. I am Destined For Greatness.

Watch this space.


An insight into adulting…

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It’s almost 10pm on a Friday night. This time 10 years ago I would have been 3 pints of ‘Turbowine’ (Rosé mixed with Smirnoff Ice – no I don’t know how I’m still alive either) down, with the latest bit of ‘boom boom’ electro blaring, applying at least the 4th layer of make-up onto my face before GHD’ing my overly highlighted hair (cheers Beyoncé) into oblivion and heading out – to return most weekends at some point on Monday morning.

I’ve just spent 20 minutes sitting on my kitchen floor hand-feeding freshly cooked chicken breast chunks to my cone head kittens because they couldn’t get it out of their bowls.

Guess which I prefer?

For the past year or so, I have been ridiculously sensible. Almost to the point of becoming a hermit. I have been the epitome of hustle and focus, and I’ve reaped the rewards ten-fold. I was working 3 jobs, forgoing ‘treats’ and hoarding my money away like it was a magic ring and I was a little bald goblin. However something in the past few months has shifted in me, and I’ve realised that I had to be that way to land on my feet. I had to be that way to mend my broken heart. I had to be that way to learn how to grow the fuck up, and I had to be that way to learn who I am. Now I’ve come out the other side and I’m ready to live again. To find that balance.

So I’ve actually started making plans again. You know – outside of the house. At night.

I had one of the best nights I’ve had in ages rediscovering my techno persona last Saturday, and upon crawling in at 6.30am to two little faces waiting to be fed (kittens – not children) I realised I can do both – just probably not to the extreme that I used to! After a day of recovery on Sunday, I was out again on the Monday night to see a band I’ve wanted to see for the past 6 years.

I went out on a school night. Not only did I go out on a school night – I went OUT on a school night.

The band were immense, I stayed to party with them afterwards and I went home at 2am (I gave myself a curfew ha!) after a heated discussion about whether Dominoes or Pizza Hut was better (obviously the latter – come on!)

Needless to say, at almost 33 years old I can still party like (and with) the rock stars. I cannot however, recover like one. This week I have been FUCKED! I’ve eaten junk, not even laced up my trainers to work out and I’ve slept like the living dead every night, but you know what? I’ve found my happy again. I just need to work on getting the balance right! I can unleash my inner wild child without being a dickhead about it.

If you follow my Instagram (@shelly_c if not) you’ll know that I am still very much about the hustle and hard work. On Tuesday and Wednesday I was struggling to focus – and it pissed me right off. I have not worked this hard and come this far to let a hangover stand in my way. I’ve been there and done that. The beauty of learning who you are and what you want, is the ability to give yourself a kick up the arse when you need it. It’s the ability to know what is important.

10 years ago I would definitely have called in sick on the Tuesday morning. Instead I set myself a time when I wanted to be home. Stuck to it and got up and got my ass to work the next day. I did this for a number of reasons:

  • I really REALLY love my job. It motivates me, it excites me and it challenges me. No matter what I do in my personal life, I point blank refuse to let my job slide, because for the first time in my life, I don’t have just a job, I have a career. I have goals for myself, goals for the business and goals for the team that I work with, and there’s no way I’m going to be that rusty cog in the machine. I want to be the sparkly, freshly oiled one that’s vital to its overall functioning. I have a way to go. But fuck me I’m going to get there.
  • I value my health and my sanity. I don’t like burning the candle at both ends. I’m crap at it and it makes me cranky and useless.
  • I like to feel alive, refreshed and energised. This week I’ve felt anything but. Yes I’ve kept the smile on my face, but that face has been T I R E D. It’s not a feeling I love to be honest.
  • I’m in a really good place. I would actually go as far as to say I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I’m comfortable in my own skin, I’m confident, I am surrounded by amazing people, and I am attracting more amazing, like-minded people into my life every day. I am very happily single – and enjoying all the fun and memory making that comes with it and I actually have my shit together.

I just need a good night’s sleep!

Overall this week, I have learned that in order to live a little, I need to lighten up. Yes I can be ON IT during the working week, and working towards where I want to be – but what about the fun times that are passing me by in the meantime? I am all for building a future for myself, but I really mustn’t forget to have a life that I love at the same time.

With that, I’m embracing everything I’ve learned about myself this past year. The fact that I’m actually ridiculously girly, kind and soft hearted – with a side helping of ‘don’t-fuck-with-me-badass’ chucked in for good measure. I don’t have to have a six-pack to love how I look in the mirror. I’m traditional – both at home and at heart, and I’m an introverted extrovert. I love a good night out, but I love a night in on my own just as much – because after everything else that I have going on in my life, I get to come back to my own home and my own little heartbeats and look around at my four walls and all that I have achieved so far.

If that’s not motivation to carry on as I am I don’t know what is?

Frankie Says Relax…


It’s Sunday evening at 7.46pm, I’ve not gotten changed out of my PJ’s and the most I’ve achieved today is moving from my bed to the sofa. I literally cannot remember the last time I did this. Largely because ‘relaxing’ is not something that comes easily to me. Sitting and doing nothing but watch the TV leaves me feeling like I should be doing something else. (I’ve actually made breakfast, cleaned the litter trays, put a load of washing on and sorted my recycling out – I had to. I was getting twitchy.)

I’m a natural worrier. I always have been and realistically speaking I know I always will be – but it’s something that I’m working on by forcing myself to do things and trusting that things will work out. My motto in life is literally ‘everything will be fine’. When anxiety about the little things hit I repeat it like a mantra and you know what? Everything always is. There is always a solution, things always work out and nothing is the end of the world.

One of the main things (like most people reading this I should imagine) that I worry about is money. I can’t help it, I’m a homeowner and I like looking good and having nice things. As I have talked about a lot in this blog, Gratitude, the Law of Attraction and the Power of Positivity basically govern my life. I apply it to everything and money is no different. I wanted to share a few examples of how this works perfectly for me. Every Single Time. Recently it’s been on my mind a lot, and I wanted to remind myself more than anything.

I started a new job last month – faster than I expected to as I came to an agreement with my old company to leave work 3 weeks early. It worked out well as I was able to start at my new place faster, but I had a week to fill and I would miss out on a fair chunk of my wages. I could just about cover my bills. Instant panic set in as soon as I saw my bank balance. Yes, I have savings and a credit card, but in my view, the credit card is for emergencies and I don’t like dipping into my savings because it took me a long time to acquire them. Here’s the thing – I didn’t have to rely on them.

I spent that week off working my arse off from home for my new company to get myself ready to start as there was a lot of preparation to be done. I did this for me – because I wanted to. My new boss had discussed this with me, and she’d really kindly suggested that I charge the company for getting little bits and bobs done around my flat as a payment for what I’d been doing (I know right? Landed on my feet in so many ways with this role – but that’s for another blog.) My reduced pay day came on the Monday that I started, and instead of launching into my new role with the gusto I knew I had in me, I spent the first few hours at my desk worrying about what I was going to do.

Then I remembered who I am and how I think, and I gave my head a fucking wobble. After speaking to my Dad at lunchtime, I realised that this is what savings were for. As much as it pained me to see the numbers deplete, I transferred the amount I needed to make up what I was missing. I found a way forward, did what I had to do and stopped worrying about it (ish). Then the magic started happening. I got an email from my new Director saying that they had decided to pay me for the work I had done in my spare time, and it would be transferred that afternoon as a Thank You. I had told Jenni (the CEO and my friend) what had happened because she is my friend. Never for a second did I think they would do that for me. I was overwhelmed by gratitude! Next, a few weeks later when the ‘panic’ started setting in again I opened my cupboard at home, looked up and saw a row of jars and tins that I throw all my change into. The next day I was able to stick another £60.00 in my bank in coins. Again – a solution was presented to me and once again I felt a lot better about money and my situation.

When I got back to my desk after going to the bank, my phone pinged with a notification from Quidco – a cashback site that I use. Pretty much all of the major purchases I had made online for my new flat had been confirmed all at once. I was able to withdraw £122.00 there and then.

From starting the month worrying about money, there were 3 ways in which actual cash had presented itself to me – because I reminded myself every single time I felt a twinge, that I would be ok.

“I am thankful for the money that I have”

“I have plenty”

“Money comes to me freely and easily”

“I can pay all my bills – everything else is extra, the important things are paid for”

“There is always more coming to me”

I cannot stress enough here how much you have to FEEL positive about things. If you say the words to yourself but don’t actually believe it then they are empty words. This is where the pushing myself part comes in. You have to take what is known as ‘Inspired Action’. This means doing things and trusting that The Universe has your back. Trusting without a shadow of a doubt that everything will work out.

Come to my new pay day this month and the fear set in again. I am VERY organised, I have an app that tracks my spending, a spreadsheet (yes really) of all my bills and when pay day comes around I’m always up early to put aside all of my outgoings and work out what I am left with for the month. It many sound anal and OCD – but in the few years I’ve been doing this I’ve not gone a penny into my overdraft, I’ve been able to do everything that I’ve wanted to do AND I saved up my deposit to purchase my first home. So frankly I couldn’t give a shit if it’s anal – it works, and when everything adds up and I see in front of my eyes that I actually DO have plenty- I instantly feel better about money again – which means it continues to come. Do you see a pattern emerging here?

In the week running up to pay day I had sat and made a list of all the things I needed to buy, and the night before I sat at my computer and created 3 different shopping baskets on 3 different sites, and saved them ready to hit ‘check out’ at lunchtime when I had been paid. En route to work I checked my balance – and hadn’t been paid. PANIC. I sat on the train and went through my mantra. There was no reason to panic, I knew this in my heart, but in the back of my head and the pit of my stomach there was a feeling that I had to work hard to override. The fear. I checked with my boss and all had been sorted, but our account team manually pay us throughout the day so it could go in any time up to 5pm.

This didn’t sit well with my routine!

Then it hit me – by having things ‘saved’ ready for when the money hit my bank – I didn’t trust that it would. I was literally blocking it from coming to me. So I set up an alert with my bank to send me a text when it went in, and I sat at my desk at lunchtime and bought everything I needed to, booked appointments for the next day that I knew needed to be paid for, and I sat and made a list of everything I had already paid for so that I could add it up later. I hazarded a guess at what I thought I might be paid and worked out roughly what I would have to work with. I changed my routine and, once again I created a solution to make me feel better about money.

I had just received the order confirmation for the 4th site I had bought things from, when the text from the bank came through. I had put my faith in the fact it was coming, and by taking Inspired Action and trusting that it was mine by actually buying things before the money was in my bank, I set into motion all the chains of events that brought it to me.

Everything will always be ok.

I went onto my app and when I saw what had come to me, I had severely under-estimated. My eyes actually bulged and a huge smile spread across my face. I had never before had that much come to me in my monthly wages in my life. I’m by no means a billionaire (give it time) but you know what – I won’t be worrying about money anymore, and if I do – I’ll carry on doing what works and stay positive about it.


“Tell me why – you don’t like Mondays…” *Bob Geldof voice*


Here’s the thing, Monday’s get a bad rap. Pre-9am on the first day back to work after the weekend, my (and no doubt yours too) Social Media feed is filled with mock despair about ‘the worst day of the week’.

I used to hate Mondays too, when I hated my job, my life, and the fact that I had to drag my ass out of bed and leave the house in the morning to go and spend my day being miserable. I remember one job a few years ago, where the commute was substantial. I was so worn down by the atmosphere, lack of respect and appreciation, restrictions on my growth and overall stress levels that a few weeks before I was signed off sick for 4 months, I found myself standing at the top of the stairs down to the platform at New Street Station and thinking: “If I tripped now and broke my leg, I wouldn’t have to go in today…” I am not for a second joking. I knew I had to leave. So I did.

I have a theory – and do correct me if I’m wrong here. But you don’t hate Monday’s, you hate going back to the routine of your working week that you are unhappy with, the same reason you love 5pm on a Friday right? We’d all love to spend our days swanning around to exotic locations on a yacht drinking Prosecco on tap (no – just me?), but the reality is we have to earn a living to live, and so if you’re going to be spending a minimum of 7 hours a day, 5 days a week doing something – it may as well be something you enjoy. (Side note – stay at home moms and dads I totally don’t include you in this!)

This is where the power of positivity comes in. Now, I LOVE Mondays. For me, they symbolise another fresh start, a time to set good intentions for the week ahead and go into it full gusto. It helps that I love my job, and it took me a long time to find what I was supposed to do, going from being a Graphic Designer, a Holiday Rep, a Recruitment Consultant (very briefly), a Chef, a Marketing Assistant, an Administrator and an Office Manager before becoming the Digital Marketing Manager I am today. My job enables me to communicate, write, promote, work with social media, websites and analytics, learn, organise and create. It is literally all of my strengths rolled into one, and I finally have a place where I can deploy them all. I also work with an amazing bunch of like-minded people.

I’m a right jammy bitch, aren’t I? Well actually, no, I’m not. All of this has come to me BECAUSE of my positive attitude towards it. It didn’t fall in my lap! One valuable thing I have learned, especially in this most recent change of role, is that even if you are not where you want to be, or doing what you want to do right now – make the most of it. Find the positive elements, and relish the bits that you enjoy. See what a difference it makes to your day, your work and your relationships with your colleagues. It’s easier said than done, but it can be done. Appreciate your job and your work, even if it’s only for the fact that it allows you to pay your bills and gives you a reason to get up in the morning – if you go into your day focusing on the good things you can achieve and receive, then I promise you Monday’s won’t seem so bad after all, and the change that you want will come to you.